Support System

Every woman needs one, whether you’re pregnant or not. I hope, trust and pray you have a support system - what I’m talking about here.

If not, find one in your area through local pregnancy centers or agencies, churches, community centers, hospitals or online forums. When I found out I was not only pregnant but would have to be placed on bed rest at five and a half months *insert crying face*, my support system jumped in quickly. The whole independent, like to handle things on my own was thrown out of the window. The evening I got to the hospital one of my aunts walked in whom I hadn’t even told I was admitted, but as it goes – our family is very close and once you tell one person, more than likely a prayer chain text message is probably sent and everyone is made aware. Besides my aunt coming to visit upon hearing about our admittance, of course my parents and my sister and her husband came to visit (my sister brought dinner too) *insert smiley face*.

While the laughter was there and prayers sent before everyone left us for the evening, I was still feeling very sad as all I wanted was a simple pregnancy, but I know sometimes what we ask God for He doesn’t always give it to us directly the way we want it. My husband reminded me through my hospital visit that this was definitely not the worse and that someone was dealing with something worse than I. I was also saddened because my nonprofit organization was hosting an event that upcoming Saturday and I was deciding to cancel or proceed with my team of volunteers and board members. My sister assured me that everything would be fine and grabbed my notebook to write notes on everything needed, who to contact etc. for the event. My husband also reassured the reason for having a team and he had his list of items to grab for me at home and refreshments to pick up. My procedure was the next morning and I survived. Still crying off and on, out of self-pity I was overall fine and me and Baby Christian were both still here.

My niece, who is another big cheerleader, support of mine and also side fussing nurse planned on traveling to help with our event on Saturday and arrived Friday evening not only to visit me but also to pick up the items my husband brought from the house. See how my support system is the absolute best and everything was working together just fine. God had me. My family had me. My team had me. All I needed to do and was instructed to do by EVERYBODY was rest. On top of that, my Mom knew I would be in the hospital on Valentine’s Day and brought a balloon for me. It’s not the big things that matter but those small gestures to know you’re thought of. Friday came (Valentine’s Day) and the plans my husband and I had were no longer. Geez! I thought babies changed your life once they got here…wrong! They change them immediately. My husband stayed every night and day with me, and I was happy when he would take a break to go home and just get out. See my Instagram post about what I awoke too that Friday morning as I thought he was only going to grab breakfast for us. I apologized for our Valentine’s evening not being the way we planned but I was happy all three of us were together.

As my husband took a break later that day, my wonderful Dad also stopped by the hospital to sit with me and brought a box of candy and flowers. We fuss a lot, but I’ll always be a daddy’s girl, loving each other unconditionally. The doctors came by to check on me and told me I was going home the following morning. I know how being discharged can be, so I was happy but not excited yet. When Saturday came and the nurse practitioner came in to tell me I would be going home that morning, that’s when the excitement hit. *insert hospital bed dance*. The following days were great. I would tell people no I didn’t need this; no help with cleaning, shopping or food but that soon changed because I was definitely not to be on my feet long at all. I couldn’t even go to the hair salon or worship per doctor’s orders (thank goodness for live streaming). I had never been in this situation, but I knew there was more needles in the haystack and my support system was there. The event was amazing (although I cried seeing the pictures and videos being sent to me), but my sister and niece came over that day to unload everything, visit me and to tell me all about the event. To be honest, I was just happy to be home; bathe in my own shower and sit in my own bed so the sad emotions died down.

Over the following weeks, family spent nights with me when my husband was away, cooked meals, friends and church family brought me meals, plenty of phone calls to keep me in good spirits, cards were sent, prayers were texted and my sister even shampooed and blow dried my hair and a stylist came to my house to do my hair. Although I still wanted to clean up and wish I could go outside more than doctor visits, I realized all I needed to do right now was REST for me and Baby Christian. As my post on Instagram says – the goal: a healthy baby! With my support system, it was easier for me to say yes to their offers of help; easier to ask someone to help me with laundry, ask someone to stay with me when my husband was away and easier to pray harder to God for a successful, healthy pregnancy and baby. One of the greatest gifts was receiving gifts from our registry as the hopes of a baby shower before he arrived were placed on hold. Over the next weeks and months, I still had my days but I also had family and close friends that reached out just to say we’re thinking of you and for that, I am grateful. As I mentor and share with others – life is not always easy but it’s definitely worth living….and worth bringing life into this world.

Be Grateful