I Can't Helpmate.

At 21 weeks pregnant during our office visit for Baby Christian’s anatomy scan, he looked great but his head couldn’t be fully measured (the same as the prior appointment).

Luckily the technician asked for a second opinion from another technician who came in and asked if my cervix had been measured. She noticed my cervix wasn’t measured during my prior office visit which it should have and as I call it, a fortunate unfortunate happened while we were there.


The nurse noticed my cervix was short, or the medical term it was an “incompetent cervix.” Baby Christian was trying to slowly make his way into this world a little earlier than we were expecting him, or he needed to. After the doctor reviewed my scans, he came in and advised me I would be having a cervical cerclage the NEXT DAY. No questions if I wanted to but I needed to leave his office and go straight to the hospital for admittance. My husband and I normally grabbed a bite to eat after my doctor’s visits so that means I was hungry, right? I asked the doctor if I could stop for something to eat and he told me no. In the words of Monopoly – go straight to the hospital, do not pass go, do not collect ‘lunch.’ On top of that he told me I would more than likely be on bed rest the remainder of my pregnancy which meant 21 weeks = 5 months, so I had four more months to go. SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!


Amazing how fast technology works – when we arrived at the hospital and gave my name, we were admitted and directed to another part of the hospital; down the hall and around the corner. When we got to labor and delivery, we waited a few minutes and a nurse came to get me. What I’ve always despised about hospitals is IV’s and argh, here comes the nurse with mine. Meds were ordered and they came in to tell me about the procedure that was taking place the following morning. Of course, emotions began in me along with my PPP (personal pity party) plus I was told I would be spending a few days in the hospital, again SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!! Oh! did I mention I had to spend the rest of the day and night almost upside down to remove pressure from my cervix? Yeah, not fun y'all.


As the executive director of a nonprofit organization, we had our first event of the year coming up that weekend and I was debating to cancel or what to do with a sold out event. Luckily my team came through and everything went well with not only the procedure for Baby Christian and I but also the event that weekend. God came through once more again, as He always does. What troubled me more was the feeling I would be cooped up on bed rest for the next four months...did you hear me…FOUR MONTHS!! This means no cooking, cleaning or walking around my house the way I was used to. Probably sounds great for some but for me it wasn’t the most fun I was looking forward to. This means I wasn’t able to keep my house the way I wanted to and that I would have to ask others to do things for me such as chores when I’m not one to ask people to do much for me. The part that was also hard was having to ask my husband to do certain things when it just seemed easier for me to do them. Men aren’t always as cognizant as we are or aware of obvious things like women so I would have to ask meaning that this helpmate was no longer able to help the way I was used to, on a daily basis.


See, I felt if I sat around my husband would sit around, and for me, I wasn’t used to always just laying around – plus my buttocks hurt. He did brave the beauty supply store for me and picked up some items I needed while I entered this bed rest phase with plenty of screen shots to assist him…and he did a great job. *insert cheers* What I had to learn was it’s okay to ask people to do things for me and they were gracious to help. My mom would change my linen, get my meals together from church family, go by the grocery store when I needed her to or simply come over to keep me company. My sister would come over to play games with me, talk and laugh like we always do and so many others helped to keep my spirits raised with flowers, cards and texts. I praise any woman that has had to experience bed rest. Mine wasn’t the easiest but I made it enjoyable; got off of my PPP and got to work via telephone, laptop or my easy picker upper that my husband purchased for me so I wouldn’t have to bend over. The overall goal was to keep Baby Christian ‘baking’ until his appropriate time to enter this world was here…and that he was healthy. It’s okay to not always be that helpmate you desire to be or used to being, especially when there’s bigger fish (or babies) to fry (or bake). Plus this wasn't the end.

The Finish Line is Coming