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All for Love

It has been 196 days since finding out I was pregnant with Baby Christian and 196 days since

I started giving myself shots to thin my blood due to a blood clotting disorder discovered a few years ago during our first pregnancy (see The Bumpy Road to Recovery post). This was something I knew I would have to do during my pregnancy all while my husband and I prayed for this baby. 196 days in and I can’t say I would trade sticking myself every day for him for anything in this world. This, along with clearing out my shoe room; painting a new room and turning it into a happy baby abode for our baby boy was done all for love.

For every woman that desires a baby – that love begins the moment you take that at-home pregnancy test. You begin loving someone you’ve never felt, never heard, never seen and can only imagine things of the future but because of your possible past, you think of the present and live and pray on a daily basis. If you read my previous posts, there were doctor visits I didn’t want my husband apart of because of personal women issues and I never wanted to feel that feeling of hearing words any pregnant woman would hate to hear. As I talked to one of the receptionists about it as I made my next appointment, she advised me to let him come along to the appointments and I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. What I always knew and never doubted was my husband’s love and excitement for our baby boy was the same as mine.

The next appointment we would be seeing our baby boy for the first time and I was so happy he was there (I think he fought back tears, but I’ll never spill the beans). From that moment on, my husband was our driver to every appointment between our OBGYN’s office and my high-risk doctor; he never missed an appointment and was happier that we could share this deep love for our baby boy together. When the issue of my cervix was brought up to us and the immediate admittance to the hospital was given, the Wonder Woman inside of me didn’t want to cry in front of him, but I did (it’s not like he hadn’t seen me cry before). When we arrived at the hospital and was admitted, the procedure was explained to us and while I hadn’t planned on having a spinal anesthesia mid-way through my pregnancy, all I kept thinking was “this is for the baby, this is for the baby!” That is pure love because I’ve heard that some women give up while others have that same amount of love for their baby's as we did.

The next day during my spinal as one of the nurses held me in a fetal position all I kept thinking again was “this is for the baby, this is for the baby!” There were moments of uncertainty, unknowing and a lot of confusion that Google helped me with along with my nurses. The more we progressed through our pregnancy; the more love came even through bed rest it was all love for our baby boy. I tell my husband I can’t wait to tell our baby boy how excited his dad was to paint his room and put all of his furniture together. I know it brought him great joy and oh the love he has for our baby. We are now 31 weeks into this love thing with our baby boy and every day, we’re excited to hear his heartbeats and hiccups as we await these final weeks for his appearance and swaddle him with all of this love, we’ve been waiting to give him. The Bible says, “Do everything in love” and that’s exactly what we have planned for our baby boy from the time we heard his first heartbeat (in the words of Buzz Lightyear) to infinity and beyond.

Stay in Love

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